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Re: Chapter 4.5
I like how in the first paragraph, you were able to captivate the ordinary/usual life of the campus through Kei's perspective. and show that he wasn't used to that life/place, ...
Feb 7 -
Re: Shadow's Rising {Wing 6} Chapter 7 (Part 2)
“This intruder has stated that he will defend the dragon Delphinium. Very well. Let him entertain us a while longer then.'' In the second line, it makes it appear like ...
Feb 7 -
Re: It was never supposed to happen (Jareth poem)
Beautiful story i think you were able to show the different perspective of the character on what I understand in jared point of view, the protagonist of Jarreth. Sarah is ...
Feb 6 -
Re: Agents of Time: Chapter Four; Rewrite history
In the first paragraph, ' in the line she dumped her wet shirt on the floor of the car''. You continue with the phrase at least being damp in the ...
Feb 6 -
Re: No More Butterflies
In the first paragraph, you talk about 'monsters' that the protagonist and the 2 friends have a thing in common, of all 3 of them being scared of monsters, in ...
Feb 5