Pidgin_Princess

Wow, great poem! Keep writing in that style, I think you've found your calling! "Sheltered from pain by surrounding hurt" huh? I know kind of what you're going for but... ...

ok so this story I wrote for a contest awhile back and decided to revisit it. so critique it to death! Show no mercy! :twisted: It looks long, but that's ...

Yeah, you really ought to have more concern for your work. Although I strongly agree with your argument, I think this is a weak representation. To convince someone of something, ...

wow. yeah, the face definately needs some work. It seems to be the least detailed part of the picture, and I think you'd want it to be the focus... otherwise, ...

It's Anelise Critique time! Great story. I love the different phases and stuff. But you definately need some tweaking. Suggestions in BLUE , corrections in RED You know many would ...

*starts pulling out hair* aaaaaaaaaaaah! so many words! PLEASE space it out some more! Nice essay, but the words were so looooooooooooooooooooong. It brings the work to a screeching halt ...

revised ending: Now I'm standing here, five years later, at the very site of the tragedy. I don't notice the solemn passerby as I stare at Ky's sixth-grade picture. I ...

well, I was going to attack the grammar, but Lylah pretty much did that for me. :smt019 so, I will do a nit-picky breakdown on it instead. suggestions in blue ...

ooh, yay! hmmmmmm what to submit? :?: :?: :?:

Wow. I really enjoyed that! It could definately be longer, though. but not by much, because that'll bog down the suspense. And also, I thought the mom appeared kind of ...

*twilight zone music* wow. yeah, I couldn't find much, either. I would reccommend going back and expanding, since you wrote it so quickly. some parts seemed a little rushed. And ...

ok so I know this is an overused topic, but I had this sudden inspiration moment and had to write it. So I think the action dwindles about halfway through, ...

ok. so I really like your idea, but what exactly is this? A sonnet for the neighbor kid? or a poem about thunder? Maybe I am pointlessly rambling, but I'd ...

I think I'll look for some of your work. I'm not a big SciFi writer myself (my ideas are so cliche I might as well name them after the stories ...

Yeah, that was great! Your writing style matched that of the book, so I almost forgot this wasn't part of it! You do need to make up your mind whether ...