Pickle810

I liked it, but the beginning was a little shaky, as well as the end. At first, the pace is warped, making it slightly confusing, and then you start almost ...

Well, it seems that the grammar department post has been filled. So I'll just expound upon content. It is, obviously, immediately apparent that Andrea's in a fire. Not only from ...

I read that book about two years ago, couldn't decide whether I hated it or loved it, and still haven't made up my mind. It's just creepy enough to be ...

Ooooh,- Catchy beat! I liked the poem, and there's not much else to add that the other's haven't said, so I'll have to point out the one sad fact that's ...

Well, the first thing I noticed was that it sounded like a cross between the Torah, the Greek mythological chronicals, and the Sylmarion (hope I spelled that right. Know I ...

Welcome to YWS! I know you may not have bothered with the rules yet, but you should. First- you just posted but haven't reviewed yet! That's not good, so just ...

I like this kind of thing too, where the happy ending is marred. Things never work out perfect in real life, right? There were spelling mistakes in some places, which ...

Hmmm...I gather you don't live in a city? Because, truly no offense intended- this isn't a good portrayal of one. On the other hand, I liked the flow, and it ...

I'm not sure "essay" works here. And please, don't put in the religious bit, or add a disclaimer. A lot of people, such as Jews, aethiests, Hindus, Budhists, etc. might ...

I agree mostly with what everyone else has said. The only thing I can think of to add is that your next to last sentence "Abuse is not love." is ...

Hmmm.... As noted, there's not a lot to say here. One thing I can point out: first sentence needs some work. "Many years ago, there was..." is too cliche, and ...

Um... sort of like Charlie in "Flowers for Algernon". But first, you need to make it clear that he has a disablity, because otherwise, uh, it sounds sort of horrible. ...

This was, of course, very well written. But...old. Tired. Why did you write this? Did you need a speech, were you just feeling inspired? I feel vaguely as if I've ...

Okay, not much time, so lemme just nit-pick! Such fun. First, if you're going to write something religion based, tell people at the top. Some people get offended, which isn't ...

I agree, yes- it could use work. But then, what can't? Overall, I loved the story. Some roles were a little worn, and stereotypical, and the father was a flat ...