Pickle810

Great story. Only one thing eally bothers me- that very last part with the "bubbled waves". It just annoys me. bubbling, bubbly, something like that maybe. because waves isn't in ...

Well, I know it's certainly been a while since you wrote this story, but I'd like to let you know that I really like it. It sort of feels like ...

Strange, yet compellingly humorous. I loved Bessie. She made the tone less "from the darkest and most random parts of the brain" and more "what would happen if the service ...

I liked the repetition. I think, as you might be able to tell from teh reviews, that there are about a hundred types of poetry preference, and half like repetition, ...

I loved the story. The ending seems a little chopped off, and I'd like to have a little more detail, but this has got the makings of a good short ...

I love the names! And the MC's conflict with her own name, which gives her depth and whatnot. I'm thinking that maybe there should be a little more description of ...

This was good. But are Barbara and Paul going to be major characters? Because, if they're not, then if might be good to cut out some of their dialogue and ...

That story was disturbing in a good way, if you can understand. I like the way you think about the dialogue, and understand the character. The story's that kind of ...

Thanks people! Reading your comments, I realize I probably should've read it over a few more times, editing and such, instead of writing it at three in the morning and ...

The story was good, yes, but it still needs some work, mostly with commas. It's as though you were in such a rush to get it all out on paper, ...

It started out as a sort of ludicrous idea. I’m a pacifist, I’ve seen, I know, what violence and war can do. I’d like to see one thing accomplished by ...

The story was really leading, once you got past the just slightly annoying font everything on here has. Why don't they do indentations, anyway? But whatever, what I want to ...

I wanted to add that those old Roman/Latin names added a great mood to the piece, making the Realm it's set in fit together great! Thanks for writing such a ...

Some of those details are interesting, and good. I'd like it if you could add a little more backround, a little less dialogue, although the dialogue set a great tone. ...

What's remarkable about thisis that it's so strongly written. I feel like you've been in the character's shoes. This was a great job! I'm not sure if all the white ...