Pickle810

Hey, thanks! The mother was totally based on my own- no, just kidding! Thanks for the typo fix! My comp. didn't find it. About the mother, though. She's lashing out ...

Oh! Totally didn't mean to hit submit there! Lemme give you the rest of my opinion. Overall, the piece was well written, with some problems in the overall paragraph situation. ...

You said "Still the dark figures remained indefinite" which didn't make a lot of sense. 'Indefinite' is usually used like, "We gazed into the indefinite darkness of the cave...". I ...

you stare at me with bitter eyes, resenting me for privilege You've never tasted my tears, say i never shed them You say I know nothing of pain You say ...

There were a couple grammar mistakes, and stuff like that, but I loved the parody and backstory log. The setting was well worked out, with no gaps to leave you ...

Father said the evening sky was the color of my eyes. Mother, turning back to my brother, said not to fill me with foolish fancies, that I’d learn the truth ...