PhoneticallyAccurate

Hey :D this is one of my old story that i have been working on , some of you may have already ready my intro, and gave me some feedback, ...

Meant to be whimsical/child-like. I am Bug. ....... Sometimes I find myself trapped within an hourglass like a grain of sand, only I am much larger than a grain of ...

I forgive you not, Athena. For what you've done to me. There shouldn't be a period between those lines. An unbearable decay of skin and blood, a walking Gorgan corpse. ...

I liked this. I liked how raw it was. The imagery is pretty good, as well, just be careful of not using too many adjective-noun pairings, which can be monotonous ...

The moon hovers above a crater that was born from my wavering fist , as your spiked caramel hair creates a halo, your blanketed fingers carved sweetly into a twist. ...

Gosh, I love so many authors... Right now I really like Sara(h?) Gruen, Jonathan Howard, China Mieville, Scott Westerfeld... I could go through my bookshelves, but I'm too lazy. ^^ ...

While I do think that you've used an interesting concept, it might be better if you only used the backwards writing for one stanza. It's a chore to have to ...

EDIT: Removed.

I've been on Young Writers Online for about a year and a half now. My novel is fantasy/psychological (I guess I might say it has a little horror in it, ...

Somewhere in the deep wet of your eyes, I feel like this could be made a bit stronger, and not so forward. "Within the depths of your glossy eyes" for ...

Ooh, I like the emoticons here- Oh. *coughs* Hello. My name is Deva, but you can call me by my username if you want. It doesn't really matter to me. ...