PerforatedxHearts

Yeah [ditto to all of the above]. There's really no structured sequence of events. You've got a sequence, but it seems like a forced let's finish this, this, this, and ...

Um, I don't know what's so funny about it...? O.o Anyways, ditto Jerikas. In the first paragraphs, I was a bit confused...I didn't understand if the sentence was part of ...

I haven't read Part One, which is sort of why I feel so lost, but you've got a few excess "bits" that you really don't need. Just, really, little commentary ...

Yeah, I agree with Loose. The FBI training? What does that have to do with anything? Not unless you give more background. When I read that FBI training part, I ...

"It was a dark and stormy night..." &.. "Don't read this."

[January 28, 2008] Okay, so I switched my FPS Scenario from "A Lesson in Semantics" to "A Broken Angel's Pose". Mhm. Pretty, but I didn't have enough time to post ...

James Patterson-short. So that your genious will come out in bursts, and not have it fizzle out during long chapters. :]

Okay. Thank you! I've changed my focus to another story, quite sadly. XD But the voice is a lot like the new prologue, just a bit more thoughtful and in ...

Ditto to all that, and the fact that in the beginning you've got to build your novel up, foundation to paint job. That doesn't mean making up your present-set story, ...

Prologue “So where’s the sight? Where’s the tears? Where’s the monster that feeds your fears?” --“S/h/r/e/d/d/e/d”, by Ending, The Happy Once upon a time, there was me. And once upon ...

Story Structure Architect was really helpful, but it went too much in the technicalities of plot. Character-driven plots are more realistic, but of course that depends on the genre you ...

Yeah, I felt like the professor's character wasn't very consistent. Umm...also, it seems like it ends at a bad place. I can't tell you where to end it, it just ...

Well, if you're writing other things to avoid the main thing you're wanting to concentrate on, then yeah, I guess that'd be a project you'd want to drop. What the ...

Nope, just that usually fantasy writers have to elaborate a bit more than others, because what's coming from their imaginations usually demands more "little things"; the details are very important. ...

Yep. I realized that. XD *crosses fingers behind back*