-
Re: The Hideaway
Hi PenNPaper here to review! the Alley Small letter A, unless it is a name. city ,he The comma should be just after city and a space before he. That ...
Feb 1, 2010 -
Re: A Small Wolf Story I Came up With off the top of my Head.
Hi PenNPaper here to review! "Yes," The The 'T' from 'The' should be in small letter. itself." A A comma after 'itself' and 'A' should be in small letter too. ...
Feb 1, 2010 -
Re: Silent (searching for a better name.)
Hi PenNPaper here to review! Very well written, no punctuation or grammatical mistakes or whatsoever. You could described how Gwen got to heaven, you just jump straight to the scene ...
Feb 1, 2010 -
Re: Memoirs of a Monster: A Fictional Tale of Nazi Germany
Hi PenNPaper here to review! Short, sweet, fantastic! I loved this so much, it was so full of suspense, great job with that! Although you had no characters, no dialogue, ...
Jan 31, 2010 -
Re: Heaven and Hell (not fixed title)
Hi PenNPaper here to review! The moon reflected in a mirror that was hung loose on the cracked walls in the old house How about rephrasing it to be 'The ...
Jan 31, 2010 -
Re: My Purge
Hi PenNPaper here to review! There were not much mistakes I spotted, but please start the dialogue with a new paragraph, it is less confusing that way. You did not ...
Jan 31, 2010 -
Re: Destroyers Of Worlds
Hi, PenNPaper here to review! Jets flew past their roars A comma between 'past' and 'their'. This is really happening we're about to take place in the greatest human slaughter ...
Jan 31, 2010 -
Re: Terror. The prologue.
Hi, PenNPaper here to review! height He A period if you want to start a new sentence. You do not have many mistakes which is good. Though you did not ...
Jan 31, 2010 -
Re: London Payback
Hi PenNPaper here to review! I repeat I need back up!” There should be a comma after 'repeat'. in or keep on going, It is a question, so it should ...
Jan 31, 2010 -
Re: Decided. part 1 of chapter 1
Hi, PenNPaper here to review! "Lainey? We are ready to go." I heard A comma after 'go'. out of they're 'They're' means 'They are', it should be 'Their'. made they're ...
Jan 31, 2010 -
Re: Visions of the Past- Chapter 3
Hi PenNPaper here to review! her body crying uncontrollable tears How can a body cry tears? Maybe you wanted to say her eyes? “Your Mrs. McHale’s son?” 'You're' not 'Your'. ...
Jan 31, 2010 -
Re: Rapid Reviews
Hey Moriah, I have this story called The Elemental Guardians Chapter 1. Here's the link
Jan 31, 2010 -
Re: Make me....I dare you
Hey bondgirl, help me review this please, it's called The Elemental Guardians Chapter 1 and it's under Fantasy fiction. Here's the link :D
Jan 31, 2010 -
Re: Messages: Chapter One
Hi, PenNPaper here to review! Omigosh, this was like.. so full of romance. I was sad they ended up breaking up, well, not every times a happy ending. So I ...
Jan 31, 2010 -
Re: The River That Weeps (Edited and refurbished!)
Hi, PenNPaper here to review! deathly ones--that only it knew You should put a comma instead of a hyphen there. "Vera! NO!" There shouldn't be a need for the CAPS ...
Jan 31, 2010