PenNPaper

Chimneys

A matured girl with a sense of discipline PenNPaper

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! To make this convicting It should be 'convincing'. Well you had a few punctuation mistakes here and there, but I don't think I would want ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! Maria would receive abuse from Melisande-had tons of labor dumped in front of her This sentence makes sense, but it doesn't sound right. There should ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! "First, I need to explain something. There are other universes besides for this one. Many of them have worlds that also have life on them. ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! Unregistered Wasp, reduce speed or you will taken down You missed out the word 'be'. Wow, I don't think I've read much of the story ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! I hurried off it, sprinting full speed to the blue double-doors 'I hurried off it' doesn't flow too smoothly, perhaps changing it to 'I hurriedly ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! No boys remember,” Crystal reminded her If you read it out loud, it sounds weird, because there should be a period between 'boys' and 'remember'. ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! to her next door friend's This sounds confusing, maybe change it to 'to her friend next door'? Okay that was all that I wanted to ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! On the other edge of the street Were you trying to say 'other side'? or a crying woman who had no other option that finding ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! Behind me was my older cousin, almost collapsing from her armchair due to excitement overdose. How do you know she was excited? Maybe she was ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! Okay, so this isn't really a story, but I find it great. To tell the truth, I don't know much about love. My definition? Plain ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! Okay, one thing, there was really lots of slang. I would say that you shouldn't overuse dialogue, sure, it helps the story at times, but ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! Really nice piece of work, I liked it, nice title too :D . There are a few minor mistakes here and there, but by reading ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! I have officially dating Brittney Okay so suddenly there's this word 'dating'. If the story is in past tense, this should be too. It should ...