Pattycakes

Deleted. Feel free to PM me if you're a former reader wondering why/where it is now. If the mods would rather delete this entirely, feel free. The reviews are sort ...

The first couple paragraphs are pretty cool, they're well written and gripping. After that the deal with the raven is kinda trippy but I guess I could get into it. ...

Hmm, different stylistically from the first to chapters. Not in a bad way but like, from the first sentence in you know somethings up. A murder huh? That's a really ...

Hey welcome to YWS. I think you've got a lot of imagination but I think the writing of the story itself could use some serious polishing. The ideas you put ...

Haha, well I asked and I shalt receive :) I thought Zoe was kinda weak chapter one and then bam, you 180'd my opinion. Funny, funny stuff between these two ...

Deleted. Feel free to PM me if you're a former reader wondering why/where it is now. If the mods would rather delete this entirely, feel free. The reviews are sort ...

Okay, it's pretty cool so far. There are certainly a lot of ways you can go with this big of an emphasis on water. Abby is definitely characterized well by ...

Abby stood at the edge of the ocean. The water came up and licked her toes. The wind was blowing, making her blond hair and white skirt blow in the ...

Allright, this is my review of prologue + chapter one. I like the general direction this story is headed in, in places your descriptions and imagination are really well represented ...

Let me see if I can't interject a male perspective into this story. To start off, I have to say you've made a very entertaining and believable world here. I ...

Haha, this is really awesome. It had me laughing a lot, the combination of random humor and political commentary intermingles very well. The internal monologues really bring out the conflict ...

Deleted. Feel free to PM me if you're a former reader wondering why/where it is now. If the mods would rather delete this entirely, feel free. The reviews are sort ...

Very nice character study, goes deep into the mind of a lonely pathetic man, excellent physical descriptions of the girl he watches. It could've been all really heavy handed but ...

Haha, this story was really cool in a way that it had its own sort of mythos around it. Very creative, like Greek myth meets 'The Little Engine that Could.' ...

He had disappeared from any of his usual haunts. For days, in rare cases once a week or so, students would bring up his absence. Teacher’s bemoaned the loss of ...