Paracosm

This calls for some tears. I didn't see anything wrong with your grammar, you painted a great image, and I love how you wrote from the dog's point of view. ...

Very awesome! All I can say is that it should be no one, not noone! Could Job!

Great piece! I enjoyed reading it! I don't know if anyone caught this because I didn't read their reviews, but anyway, Morning afters should say Mornings After. I know how ...

They handled the grammar I suppose, so all I have to say is, try to describe the environment a bit! I tend to have trouble setting the scene, but the ...

Cringing, gasping, I bleed. choking, whispering, I drown, Darkness is an illusion, it fades away, Daylight does not fade, it bursts, blooms, springs, laughing, singing, I smile. I joyfully awaken.

Umm..... Just wow. That's all I got.

But really, all you have to do to fix the stops is replace the periods with commas. Good poem!

Hack

Sithe crouched next to Verlinae, waves of musket fire and spells flew by them. The smell of blood and expended gunpowder mingled to create a unique stench. "Verlinae! Get the ...

Who do you consider your worst enemy?

*Silos Crowfang from an upcoming steampunk release by me! "Well! Now that I'm out of that rancid jar and reunited by with my body, who has the Everchanging Book of ...

Thank you all for the critiques, but I'm going to approach these parts from a different angle! I'll post the rehash soon!

Thanks for the reviews! I went through the critiques, and it seems quite a bit better! Thanks guys!

Okay! I'll get into the editing! It's been awhile since YWS! Time to jump back in!

Hmmm.... Can't say anything as far as editing goes! Good job! Loved this poem! Very much the truth! I am Christian as well ;D!