Panikos

Yes, there is a very specific reason that the girls are given different names every week, and that's only the tip of the ice berg in terms of how they're ...

Thank you!

I never specified the vampire's name, but the narrator is called Alex. I deliberately left their gender ambiguous because I couldn't decide what it would be myself. I don't plan ...

Thank you! It was never intended to a fully fledged short story. I was just toying with the idea.

It was just a little spur-of-the-moment short story so I doubt I'll continue it, but thank you for your kind comments. :)

Thank you so much for the review! I'll work on toning down the accent and do some spell checking. I think I'll change Jace's outfits too - I just naturally ...

Okay, that's good :)

Thanks! I'll probably post some more soon. Though the later sections need more work, I think.

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. What are you confused about, exactly? There isn't much exposition in this story and I sort of leave the reader to work stuff ...

Definitely. The passage with the knight reads much better now :)

I'm not great at punctuating poetry because I'm not very familiar with it, so it probably is me. I'll work on it. :)

Thanks! That really helpful!

Thanks, I agree with all your points. The reason I put the terms in quotation marks is because this was a found poem - I wrote it by taking extracts ...

You're welcome! I hope you continue with this. :D

Thanks for this! I definitely get what you mean about the adverbs, so I'll try to work on that. As for the POV, I've already written six chapters of this ...