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Re: Heaven
Thanks for the comment. Due to the topic, little word changes can change a lot of the meaning. The reason I have has instead of had is because I don't ...
Aug 11, 2011 -
Re: Heaven
Thanks for the review. It is more of a piece about wisdom and how wisdom is the primary goal. Also, some of the corrections you suggested would change the intended ...
Aug 11, 2011 -
Re: Heaven
"From A to B, I tell you. Yes, from A to B." "From 1 to 2?" "Yes, from 1 to 2." "..." "Symbols. Lines on a page." "And if I ...
Aug 11, 2011 -
Re: If only (contest entry)
I thought that your descriptions were pretty good and the story works under the guidelines of the prompt. You misspelled quite a few words, though, and had some grammar mistakes. ...
Aug 10, 2011 -
Re: Whispering Hope
I think that one of the biggest problem younger writers have is beginning and ending a writing piece. I felt that your beginning was pretty solid, but I have a ...
Aug 10, 2011 -
Re: Music and misery
I feel like a lot of people can relate to this quote: ‘Love wasn’t meant for me, I got better things to go on for’
Aug 10, 2011 -
Re: It's not all crystal clear
I don't think this is the easiest topic to write about, but I think you did a pretty good job. One suggestion, though. I would leave out the Thank you, ...
Aug 10, 2011 -
Re: Oscar was a ripped umbrella
I think your descriptions are quite good. I would break it down into more paragraphs, though. The descriptions and lack of paragraphs make it seem very dense. Also, noticed a ...
Aug 10, 2011 -
Re: The Parting
The Parting Act I (A man is sitting with his eyes closed and legs crossed in the middle of a square clearing in the woods. He wore a long tattered ...
Aug 9, 2011 -
Re: I. Freakin. Hate you.
Hey, I thought the story was quite good overall. There are some things I noticed that i would fix, though. In Finally it was the week of the play. I ...
Aug 9, 2011 -
Re: A Dying Fire
I like your writing style, but I think your particular style would benefit from the use of dashes. For example, in The light was so bright, even filtered through the ...
Aug 9, 2011 -
Re: The King's Curse
By the other side, the Fallen Angel granted the king an empty book, he claimed that whoever who writes on it; thoughts, time and death itself would move to fulfil ...
Aug 9, 2011 -
Re: Writing in 3rd person
J.M. Coetzee writes in a really good third person style that is similar to a first person style. I suggest taking a look at Disgrace .
Aug 8, 2011 -
Re: Nostalgia
I really enjoy your writing style. I think you would be able to write good works of literary realism.
Aug 7, 2011 -
Re: Office Beauty (150 words)
I would cut off the last two sentences. The rest of the story kind of implies them.
Aug 6, 2011
