PandaAiKorai

Rated 16+ for violence. "Promise we'll never come back here." Rei's POV The heat was getting more brutal, but I ignored it. I traveled too far a distance to allow ...

Part four, part four! A very sweet transition from what seemed to be the city-life. Twinkling city lights to forest moon light, very nice. But, darn it, explain why in ...

I see there is a part three. Just so the readers continue going through the chapters, I presume? Very slick, indeed! It is curious why you would make the chapters ...

A civilization of just women? Just an assumption. I am in anticipation for part two, once I get to it, haha! A couple of grammatical errors that aren't really of ...

Cute. The human and her lovely companion, always able to relate. Makes me miss my own dog.): I truly enjoyed this little piece, and feel that there might be something ...

Comotion=Commotion. Just pointing that out. I like how in the center of each stanza, it doesn't rhyme, and it forces the reader to focus on the true meaning of the ...

I'm going to assume you purposely didn't rhyme the first stanza? That bothers me a little, but for the most part, nice poem! It does reflect- figuratively, haha!- what some ...

If I were your friend, the entire time I was reading, there would be a giant smile on my face. However- yes, here it comes!- "Did you make the best ...

If you're writing continues to intensify, you know, you should probably increase the rating. I know that you wish for people to look at it, but, well... you understand. But ...

Only ONE line bothered me throughout this short piece: "All of these things..." Read it, and see that it kind of slows your eyes down, doesn't it? Maybe get rid ...

I appreciate everyone's commentary and will definitely take every piece of advice once I edit this. In truth, this tidbit is actually part of a larger story I'd written down- ...

One word to describe how I felt reading this: AW!!!!! This is probably the sweetest, almost saddest piece I've read today. And I've read A LOT of stories and poems ...

Very creative poem! My mind formed a picture of a green mainframe of some sort, you know what I mean? My absolute favorite line was the first: I'm sorry. Truly ...

Very simple. Since it was a dream, that's a bit understandable. However, I enjoyed it very much. If there was any possible way that you could elaborate the ending more, ...

The possibilities of what Alice could have been- an astrologist, and astronomer- came through my mind before the end. Then it all made sense. Because I didn't entirely understand why ...