OrenEmorson

Nice story! It was very emotionally evocative and I really liked the slow reveal regarding the wife's schizophrenia. However, there were a few things that tripped me up as I ...

Really good story. You put a lot into a limited amount of space, and it reads so smoothly. One tiny thing, and this is really just a pet peeve of ...

I liked your story. A lot of raw emotion in it. I agree with the other commenter, though. Your story reads roboticly at times. In this story, you write as ...

Intersting. Is this going to be part of a longer piece? Sarah Webster was a twenty – eight year old lawyer and had been for nearly three years By giving ...

This story was really funny! Your character seems paranoid-schizophrenic (the kind of person who sees messages on the TV, hears messages on the radio). Especially since he's an older guy. ...

I agree about the title - you should scrap it. As for suggestions, I'd have to see where the story goes. Personally, I always add the title last, after the ...