Ofour

"uneducated face with its half-open mouth and wan eyes; and a voice to match" I don't think there should be a colon there, a comma instead. "It seeped into Damien’s ...

I'd like it better if it had a fixed number of syllables per line, or perhaps a less random arrangement. Perhaps you could make the rhyming more concrete, "question" and ...

Formatted, Prologue and Chapter 1 edited (slightly).

9/10 So simple, so happy.

I want to study Particle Physics at Oxford and solve the world's energy problem. It might not happen, but hey!

"It's off to ebay with you!" If you could ask God one question, what would it be?

Prologue At the centre of a broad marble altar adorned with gleaming silver vines, hand beaten to perfection, lay the Stone of Ersinhel. The faint light that glazed the room ...

brawl looks immense. can't wait.

May have heard this before but: You've just tasted a whole worm!

Where I've seen it, in Portugal, its was a deep blue, almost black but with the Milky Way clearly visible as fine glitter and thousands of stars standing out against ...

There are five books in this series all of which, in my opinion, are completely original, enrapturing and thought-provoking. The author, Isaac Asimov, has been described as the creator of ...

It probably isn't clear but this is two younfg people arguing over a sweet. Sorry to ruin the ending, lol.

Hello Luke.

It was brilliant, very enjoyable. Kind of in the style of Underworld, if you've seen it. Your use "darkest" twice in a row which was a bit awkward but apart ...

It didn't sound fluent, it sounded awkward.