Ofour

If they ask for the polar bear to be killed then they should ask for every enimal in captivity recieving artifivial sustinence to be killed. No more zoos. They cannot ...

Why is this in Research?

Time for a full critique: "Jesus, jesus, hes so nice." - capital J for "jesus". "He's". "He wasn't mearly sacraviced." - "merely", "sacrificed". End with a comma, not a full-stop. ...

The language is quite simple throughout the whole poem except for "collocated" which I thought was a little inconsistent. Apart from that it was very good, the enjambment was especially ...

"++ Sherman proceeded across the beach, grinning lazily to himself. “Poor Rowan. I can’t wait for my copy of Blood Red Lullaby.” == " - what are those pluses and ...

Parents thought, subconciously, of someone in the news, then thought "Hmm. I'm wearing jeans." and hey pesto (yes, pesto) you have a name. Dick

The world. 'Tis a pretty big place. And Life. Lots happens, all the time.

"Your eyes like slits trying to close for centrys" - "centuries". "Hidding from your shadow to petrifyed to look behind" - "hiding", comma after "shadow", "too", "petrified". "your time is ...

"The sun’s rays fluttered through the leaves" - rays can flutter? "The wind stirred the already-fallen leaves" - you repeat "leaves" again too soon. The "already" isn't really necessary. "The ...

"For her the indifferent earth would change, Its mountain ranges torn asunder, For her the superior sky would change, Its lighting without thunder." - I would use a different word ...

It grants itself. I wish time would skip ahead four days and no-one would care.

The last two lines are fine, its the two before them that do not have enough syllables: they need one more each. Gurby

"It was time; their time to leave" - wrong type of colon. "The look of strong life-changing want" - comma after "strong". "smiled anyways" - I'd put "anyway", "anyways" is ...

Oooooh. 10/10

An almost perfect sonnet. The eleventh and twelfth lines have only 9 syllables. The rhyming was done well, with very little contriving. The subject itself is vague, but I like ...