Ofour

"you put commas after a few line breaks. You don't need them. A stop is implied after every line." - not necessarily. A comma is still grammatically relevant and is ...

"In the bottom of the shallow pond was a four-pronged star, surrounded by four symbols: a circle with an oblique line, giving more then half, a line sprouting three more, ...

You also did not match the correct line lengths - it is supposed to be ten syllables per line. However, I do not feel it has a great impact on ...

It's a very good paragraph... ...but it's just a paragraph.

This simply describes feelings flatly and plainly. There's nothing wrong with that, but with a subject such as this you can go much deeper, explore the bitter anghuish of lost ...

I'm in agreement with Sureal on everything. However: it seems to me that you could create a viscious irony at the end. Instead of the teacher's submission you could make ...

"tainted arms" seems kind of off mostly because I wasn't sure why the arm would be tainted...didn't seem to fit in with the mood of the poem" - "tainted" means ...

[Bumped]

"like this poem full of rhymes and with those edges and rhymes." - ruined a most spectacular piece.

"That, and the apostrophe before "'cello" kind of bothers me. It's something that really shouldn't bother me, but it kind of does. It may be a regional thing, though." - ...

A working title of the four "(Not)" My poems: (Not) My Prayer ( (Not) My Friend ( (Not) My Music ( (Not) My Life ( What do you think of ...

"“Okay, Geezer, WHAT have you gotten us into?!” " - Firstly, I'd just leave it as italics. Secondly, I thought these kids were terrified by the Geezer? Granted, there was ...

It's actually cheaper to use energy-saving ones in the long run, so why not!

Very good, I assume that "Bethazel" is the new Evergreen. It sounds much better. Nice plot device. "Finally!", if I may be so bold. Keep it coming.

I am a different Person to this skin And face. I cannot be contained, Defined, analysed by Someone else for even I am not really Sure that I know Me. ...