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Re: Consumer consumption
Wow. I get being lazy, but seriously? PAR-A-GRAPHS! Not to mention spell check and grammar check. Have somebody proof read your work-they'll have nitpicks you won't. And, in case you ...
Aug 17, 2009 -
Re: The Palace of Eternal Sleep
I don't have time to read your story right now, but I will later. I just wanted to say that you may want to watch your names. ZaShwan sounds like ...
Aug 17, 2009 -
Re: Anyone Ever Feel...
I dig indoor plumbing and refrigerated food and beverages way too much. It'd be neat, though.
Aug 17, 2009 -
Re: Until the sunset fades
I can really dig this. It jives well, and it's got great flow and rhythm. About the only thing i can think of to critique is that you should take ...
Aug 17, 2009 -
Re: the many faces of Quentin
Name: Sal "Doc" Livvis Age: 16 (Senior/12th Grade-He skipped grades 1 and 2) Appearance: A massive teen, Doc stands at 6'8" tall. He is massively muscular, with a protruding chest ...
Aug 17, 2009 -
Re: Silence is Forever.
The silence of a generation, Cut off by the nation Of pain, love, and hurt, Rings for miles without once Meeting an ear- Never stopping to say Hello, good-bye, I ...
Aug 17, 2009 -
Re: Living with a Damned Soul.
I can’t stand all this lying. I can’t stand all this blame. I’ve already started my dying, Ash and I will soon be the same. I can’t live much longer, ...
Apr 26, 2009 -
Re: The Dream Book Chapter 1
i really liked the plot. :D the biggest problem with it was that it had very awkward sentences and phrases. Sometimes they were too short, others were run-ons, etc. Plus, ...
Dec 20, 2008 -
Re: If I Die Tomorrow
If I die tomorrow, Will the memories fade to gray? Will all of this confusion Ever have something to say? If I die tomorrow, I hope you know just one ...
Dec 9, 2008 -
Re: Walkin' on Sunshine
This whole storyline/idea is pretty good, but it's less of a poem and more of an "it" or a "thing," and less of a poem. You might try rewriting the ...
Dec 3, 2008 -
Re: Nevermore
This is a free-verse poem I wrote for my English 2H class. It was supposed to be a horror, but I'm not extremely good with those, so I did my ...
Oct 30, 2008 -
Re: He stands at your door
this is really powerful, but seems like it'd be more of a short story. try italicizing "his" thoughts, it'll make it more readable. also, there were some punctuation/capitalization/grammar errors. i'd
Sep 15, 2008 -
Re: Just One Thing
We share so many things, You and I: Hatred and fear, pain and angst. But, there is one Thing that sets me Apart from you. One small thing, That, if ...
Sep 14, 2008 -
Re: What Happened
Oh, what happened To the love we used to share? It makes me so saddened When it's only your name I hear. Oh, look at me now, The man who ...
Aug 20, 2008 -
Re: Don't waste your time clicking here
you can't delete anything if it's been replied to. about the only thing you can do it erase your text and lock the thread. :\
Aug 17, 2008
