NightsDreamer2277

((I know it's longer than usual. Any comments on storyline, characters, or the world they're in are appreciated. For those who read, I'll have the next two sections up shortly. ...

Thank you both for your comments and I'm working on the second part as I type. I hope you will both continue reading.

((Due to the long period it took me to write this, here is an update of the story so far. After raiding the military compound, and gaining two new members, ...

Finally got it! It looks pretty cool inside.

I was thinking about books... and I thought of the Hobbit. Didn't work though.

Good job, then. ^.^ I read the entire list of duds and have been working on it to see how long it takes me.

Wow.. If I may, who broke the password?

(( This is the first perspective of my duel perspective story, based on the idea that the world has gone backwards and lost all sense of order. Street gangs run ...

Thank you for letting me know about the update in the story. Your writing has an interesting way of pulling me in and making me want more. The only thing ...

Hmm, I'm not one to critque on grammar, so I won't. Your story line is intriguing, and you develop the main character well, but it is slightly confusing as to ...

Your storyline is good, but it's a bit confusing. If you added more detail on the charaters and what exactly they're facing, it will add to your storyline. Don't be ...

Thank you once again for the critique! It's nice to get back some opinions on my work.

((Comments are appreciated specifically on storyline and charaters)) The memory dissipated into nothing. Looking around her sister's mind, Sari found nothing of significance. Receding into her own, th

This is something else. It made me smile at how you developed the charaters dialect into your story. Nice modern twist to it!

Even though you don't want a critique, I just want to say that this poem is awesome. The ryming of it is fluid and the picture it gave me was ...