NeutronStar

Ok, nitpick time. :wink: CHAPTER TWO: A small knocking noise came from down stairs, tapping on the =('the', perhaps, might be better) door. I turned around and =(no need for ...

Ok, let's start with some nitpicks. Dragonflies Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending - Maria Robinson 18TH ...

Thanks! :D I did wonder about the last sentence, and at first I did put 'standing' but then I changed it to 'stood'. I don't know, but I reckon this ...

Chapter 3 The Thirteenth Hour Clock Suzy refused to settle in. She wouldn't unpack her own things and never entered any of the cosier, more home-like rooms of the cottage ...

Wow, thanks, all of you. :) And Stella, I do agree with you - I don't much like the 'thirteen years later' thing, either, but I dislike it even more ...

I really, really like this! I read the plot and it just grabbed me - I wish I'd thought it up! The idea of a girl with a balloon that ...

Generally, quite good. I'll certainly be back to read more - that's the main thing that I think makes a book good. However, consider it a big, BIG bonus to ...

Ok, thanks. I might edit it a bit later. Chapter 2 is posted, if you'd like to read. :)

I wanted to do something romantic so here it is! ~pointe Prolouge: He stood there looking through the cracked glass of the town-hall window, his breath distorting the picture of ...

Chapter 2 Neighbour-less Number Thirteen Thirteen 'years' later... Suzy blinked, and then stared at the house in front of her, her mouth hung open in astonishment. She clenched her fists ...

Thanks. ;)

Definatly better than the last chapter, though I daresay you sometimes need a little more description and your paragraphs are a little all over the place. For instance: The following ...

Ok, when I read the plot, I was really looking forward to reading it. The idea has a lot of potential, certainly something I'd like to read about, but when ...

I hope this isn't a stupidly obvious question, but when you want to post a new chapter of your story, do you post it on the same topic or do ...

That is really, really good! I may suggest that you use a different rhyme than 'thee', but even so, it's very fluent. Excellent! :D