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Re: Seems Like Eternity
I was running after her on a dark street of God knows where I'm not really sure what you're trying to say with the last part. I would cut "of ...
Mar 16, 2010 -
Re: Reviews by Nephthys - Scripts and More (Open)
Oh my goodness that took a while :) Done! Currently Working On: Nothing :'(
Mar 15, 2010 -
Re: Forbidden to Love, chap. 1, part 1 (12+ for violence)
it was the latest fashion in the 1800's I'd cut out the "in the 1800s". Your reader will get that from the rest of the story. Right off the start, ...
Mar 15, 2010 -
Re: The Inspection (Part 2 of 2)
Despite what many of her employees might say about her, Allegra did not enjoy murder at all. It was a very unpleasant crime, but necessary in her line of work. ...
Mar 15, 2010 -
Re: [Preview] The Zone
I turned back and waved as the jeep drove off into the distance, before looking at my brother who had his eyes set on the complex in the distance. This ...
Mar 14, 2010 -
Re: Life Is Hard Or Suck
I like that you're telling us things about the main character, but instead of focusing on the history of her life in the first chapter, maybe try telling us one ...
Mar 14, 2010 -
Re: Reviews by Nephthys - Scripts and More (Open)
Done :) Currently Working On: Nothing :'(
Mar 14, 2010 -
Re: Reg Carter: Deep Cover (Chapt. 4)
Sorry it took so long to get this review done, the reading took a while. Oh my goodness I like this story! :) Historical fiction about war is not usually ...
Mar 14, 2010 -
Re: Reviews by Nephthys - Scripts and More (Open)
Done :) Let me know if I need to clarify anything.
Mar 14, 2010 -
Re: The Robyn Academy ~ Chapter one, part one [edited]
I hurried into the bathroom and looked at my reflection in the mirror. Phew, I was the same old me again. My long reddish hair was a mess, and I ...
Mar 14, 2010 -
Re: Rydia's Reviews
Could you please review my story? It's science fiction and 1200 words. Thanks :)
Mar 14, 2010 -
Re: My Bloody Valentine Reviews
Could you please review my story? Title: The Inspection Genre: Science Fiction Length: 1200 words Link: Thanks :)
Mar 14, 2010 -
Re: Reviews by Nephthys - Scripts and More (Open)
Done :)
Mar 13, 2010 -
Re: The Robyn Academy ~ Prologue [new~final]
I bent down over a sink in a bathroom I’ve never been into. I like this opening line :) Good start! the dim light didn’t seem to make the room ...
Mar 13, 2010 -
Re: Reviews by Nephthys - Scripts and More (Open)
If I think that your piece needs some work, I won't be afraid to let you know. I can be a little harsh, but what do I know anyway? :) ...
Mar 13, 2010
