NaramYesh

WOW. Amazing... where did you take these? They are spectacular. (No, really--where did you take these photos?) My grandmother's garden/yard. She has lots of old junk sitting around in it, ...

Awesome. I've only been on this site for a few days, but so far this is one of the best pieces I've read, along with Part 1. Loved your use ...

I liked this. Especially your descriptions of the fighting. I don't have any real advice other than maybe be a little more descriptive about the setting.

Thanks for the reviews guys. I took some of your advice and tried to correct some commas, and make some of the sentences less wordy ( i get carried away ...

Thank ya for the kind reviews everybody. I've tried to cut out alot (though perhaps not all) of the descriptions and words that I felt were unneeded, as well as ...

I really enjoy your elaborate style of writing (though perhaps it can be toned down a tiny bit by removing uneeded words). Good use of vocabulary, and interesting plot line. ...

I think you do a nice job with descriptions, and giving the overall story a decent flow. Your characters seem believable to me, which is good.