NaRachel

Wow its short. Very dramatic, i like it and to me it isn't cliche although others might think differently. Its hard to say much about something so short but well ...

Hi :-) A title could be" the one i love the most". I like this poem its deep, dramatic, metaphoric but also a bit cliche. As much as i liked ...

Hi:) it's sweet and simple however there's still something i like about its not deeply metaphoric or brilliant but like i said its sweet. To improve i suggest making it ...

Hi:) first off i find the tense in the first paragraph confusing i think at one point you swap between past and present-tense which is understandable since writing in present ...

Thanks so much everyone! Your reviews were both helpful and encouraging and made me think of things i didn't even know were a part of poetry :)

I would never dream of being unkind:) it is a little random and i come out of it thinking hmm something about leaves and then a beautiful metaphor about how ...

I love it! Its dramatic and exciting and it rhymes! Very sophisticated i can't find a problem with it so well done!

Just letting you know, i haven't read the first chapter . First things first. Your beginning sentence is way too long i skipped most of it because i lost interest. ...

I love it! Its a great theme for a short story. At the start i thought it was a bit (ironically) simple i.e you didn't use big words or imagery ...

Hi:) You've got the ryhming down pat and a good deep theme behind it. You don't need to make the meaning clearer- poetry is supposed to be a little ambiguous. ...

Limited are the capabilities of a person Futile are our attempts To be anything more than just Human. The sand runs through our fingers and Like a child Clumsily we ...

Thats okay :) Thats what this is about after all

Okay Ive tried to fix up some dodgy parts though its been hard. Just to clear it up there is no killer in the canola field. I want this story ...

Hey :) I really love you're song :) i wouldn't change a thing it has a really good rhythm and the words are creative, unique, deep but still able to ...

Hello :) I love you're title and the last paragraph. What i disliked slightly was The sun is shimmering, peaking out behind the mountain Its just a little cliche, when ...