Myth

Sophie cast him a withering glare in reply […] They are almost the same thing, so maybe just use one of them? "I saw the tear, but never dwelt on ...

Hello! To be honest I thought this was going to be something about suicide and almost didn’t continue reading, but I liked the way it turned out they weren’t actually ...

Hello! I think this is too short. The reader doesn't get a feel of the atmosphere or connect with any of the characters--you have twenty to work on and the ...

Hello! I guess you won’t be posting much more of this since you mentioned publishers. You’ve got something great going here, typos and such let you down so watch out ...

Hello! This is going really well. I especially like the character interactions, they seem so natural rather than forced. Though it does seem strange that they have no security cameras, ...

Hello! When I began reading this Rodax seemed to me to be at least mid- to late-twenties, though he does sound younger, and you’ve pointed out in your prologue he ...

Hello! I’d like to commend you for keeping me reading, usually I skim through prologues but I was able to stay with this because you’ve of your characters and their ...

Green = Comment Blue = Suggestion Black = Review * A logo reading ‘Rubik’s Cube’ stared up at the man named Tristan from a solid white face. I had to ...

Green = Comment Blue = Suggestion Black = Review * Feeling the door know in the small of his back he fumbled around until his hand made contact. I really ...

Green = Comment Blue = Suggestion Black = Review * SMASH! This is really up to you but I’ve never liked onomatopoeias unless they belong it stories for younger audiences, ...

I really liked the beginning, Gazza, and since it was so short I was able to whiz through the whole thing. Limited time here so I'll only go over a ...

Green = Comment Blue = Suggestion Black = Review * “Ahhhh! When are they gonna let us in! I’m gonna die!” Race shouted. A couple of girls looked over at ...

Green = Comment Blue = Suggestion Black = Review * “It’s too hot!” said an eleven-year-old boy. His thirteen-year-old brother nodded his head in agreement. “Yeah, if it is too ...

Green = Comment Blue = Suggestion Black = Review * In one coffee shop on the opposite side of the road to the gigantic news screen, a few business men ...

I'm actually fed up of poems based on suicide but I'll put that aside. Your description is beautiful and I thought it unique to pciture tears being 'Born from our ...