Myriadne

I really love your opening image. I think the first three lines of your opening stanza are magical, but the last two lines don't really work for me, they seem ...

I really liked the first stanza. Your use of language is wonderful. I think that maybe it becomes a bit prosaic in the third stanza, but that is probably just ...

The best way I can see you improving this is by going back to the old adage "show it don't tell it." Especially in the first stanza, it seems too ...

Its pohutukawa. Nicely done, u have some beautiful images that really capture the spirit of a "pohutukawa summer." I really enjoyed this.

I really like the first four lines. I didint like the last five lines as much because your poem takes on a slightly moralistic tone which I didint like. However ...

Whoa that's one pretty epic piece. I really liked it. I think it reads like a song, maybe you should try putting it to music and see how it goes ...

I really liked this poem. You have some beautiful lines like, " in the ceiling that is keeping me covered sheltered in closed hands " The only comment that I ...

The jab cross to your nose makes something give way it bleeds a lot Your nose Your face is smeared with the stuff grotesque really no crimson droplets glistening like ...

I really liked this. I disagree with avalon about the "I" in that line. I think it personalises the poem and gives it depth. Not being a fan of "I ...

Very nice, this is so smooth you have put it together really well. Great job.

Um, I'd just like to point out that the list is of the most freequently CHALLENGED books of the given time period, they are not actually banned.

I really like your metaphor and the sentiment behind your poem. The only way I can see you improving this is by pulling back a little and letting it flow ...

I find this to be rather overwritten. I really liked the first four lines, but after that the poem lost its rythm and began to get weighed down. Maybe you ...

Keep in mind that everything I say here is my opinion. I really think this is in need of a significant re-write. Your changes between first and second person could ...

I really liked this, you have some fantastic lines in here like: "A visual tactile", I prefer the second half of the poem. To me the first half seems a ...