Monstrar

The pink one was always my favorite on TV too. I was always the blue one, though. You kind of have an overuse of the word always. If you reread ...

Sounds kind of dumb, but how do you guys learn more about your own characters and their likes and interests. How do you develop their personalities?

Wow, I agree with the first person who said it was awesome. Very well written, no grammar errors or anything like that...good job! I like how you introduced your main ...

"Oh Sammy, your the best!" Alix ran over to him and wrapped her arms around Sam's neck 'your' should be "you're" So, its 11:49. Its still your Birthday for another ...

drawing me back to that every time I tried to let it go. I think here you can use your wording differently to make it sound a little better. his ...

Yea, it is good, but I agree with the other person who said to use more description. You want the reader to FEEL the character's emotion, not just read about ...

This is my first entry: You like me and never want to leave me You lover her and can't ever leave her Why can't you see you're ripping both of ...

I like the poem, but for me at first it was hard to actually get the "feel" of it and get a rhythym going. I like your basis and the ...

You in there care, there should be their It's well written and very poweful. Just watch little grammar mistakes here and there

To be honest, it's pretty interesting. I get the story, but like someone else said it is kind of choopy as well. Maybe try and add a bit more detail??

What an interesting topic choice. It's pretty good except for the fact that you used the wrong form of "there" in one of your lines. And also, you put unecessary ...

I'm not really *new* [I first joined in April, but I hardly ever came on], but I'm just reintroducing myself on here. :smt039

It's pretty good, but a little confusing as to who's talking sometimes.

I liked your story and I though tit was good. Just work on a few spelling errors here and there. Keep it up =]

[pre][feel free to criticize...it's what I need!] Chapter 1- “Wow Theor, you really outdid yourself this time!” Jason smiled, looking up at me from his birthday gift. He held up ...