Monstrar

It's really good! Like one person said I was kind of confused at the way you told us she was a model, but other than that I don't really have ...

* * * The day she was leaving, I knew I couldn’t face her. My last goodbye had been said last night. If saying goodbye was hard enough the first ...

It’s over. Her hair blew wildly around her head. She squeezed her eyes shut, wishing she hadn’t had to say what she just did. He put his hand on her ...

I like this story and your writing style. They're both really great. =] I hope you write more, though because I don't really like cliff hangers all too well, and ...

heard trying to sing along actually , making the song sound better. comma, lol. That's the only mistake I found. That was really...amazing. I loved it. You write very well ...

Hello. Being a girl writing from a guy's point of view is HARD. I know because I'm currently writing a story myself. To help you sort of get into character, ...

The use of Mel's name in the first few sentences alone is a tad distracting and annoying. Try using pronounes like "she" and sticking with it. We'll know who you're ...

This isn't all of chapter one, is it? Either way, you had a few mistakes here and there like: profamace should be performance and others that I'm sure you'd find ...

You have a few errors here and there, that I'm sure if you went back through you'd find them. Your story is kind of...cliche. And to be honest your main ...

*** This is kind of an original story about a teenager (Josh) who's still learning to cope with the loss of his mother, and deal with the return of his ...

Hmmm, I like your story, and the main character, but it's kind of "Safe" for me. Is it going to get more exciting? You do have a few grammatical errors ...

Wow, it's really great. I love the beginning and the suspense at the end. There's really nothing I can say to critique you on, except keep it up. Hope to ...

This is very blunt... I wouldn't even call it a story at all. It feels very rushed and like you just wanted to be in a hurry to describe everything ...

It's good...pretty short, but still good. I like hoe the beginning started off, but then as it went along you started becoming a little [i]too[i/] descriptive. Instead of describing every ...

I like it, but try to start the story off with something catchier, instead of just full on describing a character. To me that's sort of boring, no offense. You ...