Mochi

I liked this. There are a few random new paragraphs, though. Sometimes in the middle of a sentence, but I think that might have been because of how it was ...

I write because I need to get it out. Everything, just everything, out out out. Any of my violent thoughts, they go into my violent characters. I can kill without ...

Thanks, to both of you. ^^ Yeah, the second one is the rose from Beauty and the Beast, though I tried not to be too close to the Disney version. ...

I have a few drawings (one's digital, the other's charcoal and graphite), though I'm not very good at shading, heheh.

Hello! Welcome to YWS! And another psychology fan! Do you have a particular part of psychology that you like? Mine's mainly criminal psychology.

I still don't see it as something to announce to someone, though. But okay.

I think there are still problems with putting a plot in then proceeding to step two. I can't even proceed to step two. *cries* No matter what I do, I ...

Comments and such in red. ^^ Prolouge I remember (You start off in present tense here...) once lying on a sun-drenched hillside covered with twisted Gum trees and beautiful little ...

I don't see much wrong with the writing itself, but part of the plot. Camilla works for the CIA? Okay, but um, why would she announce it like that? It ...

I hated the books. I honestly couldn't stand Meyer's writing style.

I'm glad I don't live in the States. But by just looking at it I can feel my arteries clogging up.

Notes etc., in red. ^^ The day had started out cool with a cloudy sky. Things had gotten difficult after noon and there was simply no easy way to explain ...

Description is definitely needed, yes. Some of your dialogue too, is unnecessary. Dialogue should be used to develop your plot and characters. If it doesn't add to either of those, ...

I think this could use more description, personally. Description and emotion. What does the house look like? I don't exactly have a clear picture of that. And the thoughts running ...

Is that Katara from Avatar The Last Airbender? It looks like her. Though I'd need to see a clearer picture, it looks great!