User avatar

MisterThien

  • Romantic Short Stories Re: Speaking Love

    Hello! :) I'm just going to start with the only nitpick that I recognised when reading this piece: You forgot to add the closing speech mark: "Eh-nee-thing. There was another ...

    Mar 6, 2011
  • Romantic Short Stories Re: Me and Shannon.

    Hello! :) First of all, I think the title should be called "Shannon and I" as that's grammatically correct :D I usually start the review with by highlighting any nitpicks, ...

    Mar 6, 2011
  • Dramatic Poetry Re: Parallel: What I didn't learn in math

    Hahah, I like what you did here! I really admire the contrast idea and it made me smile and chortle a few times xD Keep writing poems like these! Thien ...

    Mar 6, 2011
  • Action/Adventure Novels Re: A New Breed of Hero...

    Hello! :) I'll start out with the nitpicks! Made artificially to be a weapon. "I MAY BE thirteen..." I maybe thirteen years old... Awkward repetition here with 'I look at ...

    Mar 6, 2011
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: A Short Freewrite

    Hello! :) I usually start a review off by picking out the nitpicks, but I think Blue has already done that, so I'll just skip that! So I quite liked ...

    Mar 6, 2011
  • Fantasy Short Stories Re: No. 10

    Hello! :) Here are some nitpicks I noticed when reading this story: Missing apostrophe there: I queased as she snapped the creatures neck, I think you mean 'disappeared': Soon she ...

    Mar 6, 2011
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: Mistake

    Hello! :) So, I'll just start with a few nitpicks I found and then I'll get onto the actual review! I found that sentence way too long. Perhaps you could ...

    Mar 6, 2011
  • Other Poetry Re: Creative Block...

    Hello! :) At first I had doubts about this poem, but when I had finished reading it, I was just like: "Oh, damn!" I really like this poem. It definitely ...

    Mar 5, 2011
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: Prologue

    Hello! :) I'm just going to start with just little nitpicks I found: but Katrinia loves the loved to meddle Also, I found the repetition of the word 'life' seemed ...

    Mar 5, 2011
  • Action/Adventure Novels Re: Savior Chapter 1

    Hey, Xiahouzay! Since you're new to YWS, I'll just start this review off with a quick welcome... so WELCOME! :D So the first thing I noticed when I read your ...

    Mar 5, 2011
  • Official Polls Re: Genre Battle

    FANTASY! I just love the way my imagination has no boundaries where it comes to fantasy. The genre is limitless! I can just write about anything like... vegetarian venus fly-traps ...

    Feb 28, 2011
  • Historical Fiction Novels Re: The Diary Of Harriet McCully Chapter 1

    Why, hello there! :D So the first thing I noticed about this piece of writing was its length. It's pretty short and as Sopster above said, I think it would ...

    Feb 24, 2011
  • Dramatic Poetry Re: A Burdened Afterthought

    Oh, I really like this poem! I really "connected" to it when I read it as it was definitely relatable and easy to understand. We've all experienced losing friends and ...

    Feb 24, 2011


Sometimes I'm terrified of my heart; of its constant hunger for whatever it is it wants. The way it stops and starts.
— Poe