MiriamHannah

Daniel Ross Dan stood, back tight, posture perfect. It was part of his image, the image he needed to keep as a soldier. He was standing in the middle of ...

Hi, I was wondering if you wanted to review a longer piece of work, I think I'm just there on some chapters but my biggest problem is that people always ...

I think the person before me got everything. That means I get the fun bit to comment on, the story line. Very slow start, you needed to put a bit ...

Christina rose, lugging a brimmed bag towards the hotel room. She glanced back, everyone already so friendly, so kind. Maybe, just maybe for once she would fit in properly somewhere ...

Really good. A few things that didn't make sense so I'd advise reading through it and those that you can't find by simply proof reading I might as well tell ...

I actually love your first image, the tree looks beautiful and the way it is photograph shows just a maze of branches. That would be my favourite. I also like ...

Chapter 7 We had spent so long that night, just talking, just laughing. But she had to leave, go back to her family. I hated watching her walk back through ...

Ok, I accidentally put on the wrong part. I have been going through everything so thoroughly that I ended up writing a bit of chapter 8 as chapter 7. Will ...

So this is actually chapter 8 part 1. See what you think.... Chapter 8 I sat still on the long green grass leaning against my oak tree. Watching each flower ...

Christina "Right, can you set my bags down there please." Christina wandered up the golden shoreline, a skip in her high heeled step. She looked back at the windows of ...

Can I join? Name: Daniel Ross (cover name created by soldiers working for the master) Dan for short Age: 20 Gender: male Occupation: soldier Side: Drone Home: A flat in ...

I don't understand. Look at the other story books. For it to be a story book it needs both storyline and purpose. Characters would also help. ;) Miriam Hannah

Sorry, It's Christina Amazon.

A few things you need to check over, little mistakes with italics and repeating words but apart from that it was flawless. I love where it's going, the choices, the ...

getting a swelled head like most loving sisters would Comma after head I say the hurt flicker in Dylan’s eyes saw instead of say i assume??? The loss of Dad ...