MiriamHannah

I completely agree with ratdragoon, the idea itself sounds brilliant and the way it is written, although a slight problem with tense at the end and a few minor mistake, ...

Hi I'm Miriam, This piece definitely gets the point across. Am I right in pointing out that this is not about prostitution, just about an ex/current boyfriend? We've all been ...

10. Mr. Davis annoying me with her persistent chatter about him. I think this sentence could be better, the word annoying seems to obvious, everyone already knows she's being annoyed ...

Aah I didn't realise it wasn't already in italics, thanks! I'll see if I can sort out ay mistakes. Please keep reviewing people!

Yes, I'm back writing finally. Sorry about the break I had major writers block I have found it impossible to write! :xd: Anyway, this is chapter nine, please review and ...

9. A Nasty Surprise Hey, hope this review is OK, I'm highlighting as I go to save time, far too much homework still left for a Sunday night :( I ...

Great, I'll look forward to the next chapter then! PM me when its up. It says 'beauty in a broken city' its a picture I took while I was in ...

“Fire?” I echoed, sensing she needed a prompt. I think this line was slightly awkward, i would cut out the 'sensing she needed a prompt' and instead say 'I prompted'. ...

I like it. There was one word that really annoyed me. Tim 'skipped' out of the way, he's an ex military, he wouldn't skip, however weedy, however feminine,I don't know ...

OK, you said you wanted more... I think it's good because it's true. I know that, you know that. So... I like the fact that behind the easily obstructed, simple ...

This is for a competition on What is god. --------- God is... I walked slowly, each step a mere inch. My breathe was executed in wheezing gasps, as my arms ...

I don't know about this chapter, it seems to come a little soon. It's gripping and brilliant, just a little sudden. No build up, no hints, just straight into the ...

I'm really sorry I didn't review this earlier, I wrote this really long review detailing everything and then my internet died and it was lost. Very frustrating. So this will ...

I like it. Very provocative, beautifully written, plus the simplicity of the questions. You never know if she's saying them outloud or simply thinking them to herself. I like it ...

This is a nice piece that is well done. You could do better to describe the woman and the man, maybe add an action, something to add a bit more ...