MidnightVampire

Please please critique it. I really want to know if this begining is better.

Wow, I really really liked this. This would be my type of story. I don't have any questions, seeminglymeaningless got it all. Nice begining. I like the "come out" line. ...

* I don't know where to start. I had an Idea, but I sorta lost it. Sorry.On the plus side, at least this will be up on the new so ...

Ok, i"m going to try and bring this storybook back to life! Just, please, don't put me in really hectic scenes (I think I might just create a different scene ...

No errors spotted. Nope, none. Good job!

Sumare- I ran from the fire, smoke filling my lungs. My feet guided me, knowing where to land and where I would kill myself if landed there. Soon I saw ...

*fine, Allen. I'll do this myself. And if it doesn't go the way you want it, then this that not my fault.* Kira- I watched as the guy carried her ...

Jinx- I watched the fires burn before me, mocking me. Mocking the fact that I can't control fire. If she hadn't had gotten me angry, maybe this wouldn't have happened. ...

*Allen......Help.....I need your character, its to hard to do the entire scene by myself.*

Kira- I was annoyed. I was hungry and annoyed. Where was this guy going? He said that he was going to take care of her, yet he had just walked ...

Ok, to the person (i'm to lazy to look at the name) who said " most of my dreams are to boring to write down" (or something like that) I ...

Kira- I watched as the man walked away. There goes my meal. She smelled good, too. I could still smell her, going down the street. As my stomach growled, an ...

Kira I watched as people crowded around the girl who had just stepped out of the cab. What was she thinking? I ran over to the crowd and shoved some ...

I really have no clue what time period is. Is there any preference?

Name: Kira Species: Vampire- female Age: 17 appearance: blue eyes, turn purple when she has just turned into an animal (she hasn't mastered turning into an animal, so she never ...