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MiRaCLeS

  • Fantasy Short Stories Re: The Game of Books

    Hello Djinn! To start off, I'd like to say that I loved how you built the story up to the climax and the revealed the missing information at the end. ...

    May 21, 2011
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: My Teaters Are Vapires!

    Hello KCunder! First of all, may I suggest that you run your story through a spell check first? I saw a few typos and spelling mistakes. With the story: I ...

    May 21, 2011
  • Dramatic Poetry Re: We All knew It Would Happen In The End

    This is very good, really. You used rhyme and it didn't sound forced or awkward. Good job on that :). Some nitpicks: - The rhyming structure falters in the second ...

    May 21, 2011
  • Fantasy Short Stories Re: Cornwald

    Hello MarciEvans! So, you have a very good writing style there, I found the tone quite pleasant and easy to read. However, the paragraphing, as lilymoore has mention is lacking. ...

    May 21, 2011
  • Dramatic Poetry Re: Cupid

    I gave you everything, yet you asked for more You are still what l adore But I had so much more before. This might just be me, but I think ...

    May 21, 2011
  • Romantic Short Stories Re: You just don't listen

    This seems like a really short story. I feel as though, it's not totally complete. The whole story isn't told yet. I think that this story has the potential to ...

    May 18, 2011
  • Dramatic Poetry Re: Brokenhearted

    I really liked the metaphor you incooperated into this poem. It's simple, effective and really powerful. The metaphor also made an abstract idea (love) into something physical, something that we ...

    May 18, 2011
  • Lyric Poetry Re: First Love

    I have to agree with inkwell here that the spaces before the commas and full stops aren't needed. They look confusing, detached and is generally really distracting. It also stands ...

    May 17, 2011
  • Lyric Poetry Re: hate you fate

    Agreed with the other reviewers, the content wouldn't hurt with a little revising. Poems is not all about rhyming, infact, in my opinion, in a poem, rhyming come last. Content ...

    May 16, 2011
  • Lyric Poetry Re: Bad Memories

    Alright, emotions are probably the best way to get a poem. However, when you write it all down at first, it's going to be rough, it's going to be messy ...

    May 16, 2011
  • Romantic Short Stories Re: Perfect Day

    The story was sweet and honest. However, it seemed a bit shallow. It lacked a bit of depth. I know you mentioned it was a daydream but, it doesn't have ...

    May 16, 2011
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: stranded

    First of all, I don't like the ending. At all, it's like an abrupt hit in the face. We've been given this taste of terror and adventure and then it ...

    May 14, 2011
  • Romantic Short Stories Re: Let Me Go

    They were big and long lashed and everytime I looked into them I would drown in the browness of them. The word 'browness' in this lines sounds really awkward and ...

    May 14, 2011
  • Dramatic Poetry Re: To my Demon

    I liked how you personificated Writer's Block made it seemed like a person and a physical obstruction. because this immense pain you cause me eternally makes me feel alone. This ...

    May 14, 2011
  • Fantasy Novels Re: Holocaust of the Future

    Okay, so this is a pretty good story. The story is not confusing, it's clear and it seems to have no grammatical problem. However, I do think that you can ...

    May 13, 2011


i enjoy repeating things twice in poetry. but only ever twice. nothing tragic ever happens thrice if i have control of it
— theromanticchemist