MexicanDefender

This is a short lyrical song I wrote, was having trouble with the end and finally got something welcoming feedback of all sorts. Just as I thought it would be ...

Not sparking a religious debate :P It was very well written and I like it regardless of my own personal belief. just a question though, have you had a near ...

I enjoyed that, I could picture that in a movie. I thought the whole thing was very good and funny to hear, I mean you didn't shoot to far from ...

Sounds like my last relationship :) It was hard to read it without connecting the lines which made it off beat in my head but other than that very short ...

I liked it! I always like detail in writing and how you spoke of the thoughts, very good line :) Overall I would say it was detailed within short sentences ...

It's not much on the rhyming side but I could hear it in a heavier suit, the first four lines didn't flow in my head that well but maybe that's ...

Thank you :D well the dog becomes his companion and the dog's real purpose is not made clear but towards the end it's sorta a shocker.

I began writing a graphic novel and have finished most of it, the ending is what caught me. This is my plot, before I started the drafts to draw it ...

Screaming shatters the silence, cold fists pounding on steel doors, all incomprehensible noise and rage and fury and lust. His neighbours do not answer him; they stay still, cold, dead. ...

I like the morbidity. It's not overly done so it's good. I liked the bit of internal struggle in the verses, you should expand on it. thank you, I was ...

I could see someone playing this in a little concert house. it would get me dancin' lol it was good. keep it coming your lyrics look promising.

That was really good. I like to use of rhyming. Just a thought to change the wording a little for "your destroy your goddamn life!" I tried to like get ...

hehe thank you well it is a dark song yes it is metal. I didn't particularly have emotions toward it at first it was just something to write. very dark ...

This is really good, the way I was singing it in my head was like a teenage pop star singing it with country music playing but that is just me. ...

That was really good. I like the rhyming in the beginning and mid sections the most. It is excellent work =]