Meta-Messiah

I would change it to "liver's" but seeing as how it is neither, the abbreviated or the "rot" that belongs to the liver i dont feel that it is necessary. ...

We gorge ourselves thus we grow fat and drink therefore our livers rot, unconsoled we hurtle on towards the fate our fathers knew slow suicides to save their sons

I wasn't sure about this, firstly the idea of entrapment and escape is quite a tired one, at some point we all feel trapped and as a result of that ...

I felt that you did a good job of communicating the sentiment of this poem, but overall I felt the poem lacked a sense of rhythm or flow, the entire ...

I know to walk a dance seems contradictory, but i guess i was trying to portray a kind of lurching broken elegance. Obviously not to much avail, cheers for pointing ...

The night swelters, Hot and loud, Alarms screech like electric cicadas And frantic dusty wings grope for light, A long day has passed ripe with beauty and ache I've walked ...

I read "Lolita" a few months ago and like Humbert and his nymphets i was totally entranced by this book. I've been on a bit of a Russian kick recently, ...

These three are technically separate poems, but they have a single inspiration and were written within minutes of each other. Why separate triplets? Monotony, The metronomes rhythm continues, No cresc

Thanks for that, it's been so long since I wrote with any kind of discipline that I really need kicking into shape.

I love this, Beauty and elegance carved from concrete and suspended by lace strings of steel cable. Poetic words wrought of iron. Sorry if I can't offer much critical advice ...

I thought there was some really interesting/ beautiful imagery in here "Crystal-less and aged A slivering of lead." But as a whole there was a lack of coherence, lots of ...

Today I met a lady with pupils that bled, Not blood, but space That immeasurable void. They bled out down her face (her pupils that is) Past the gash of ...

I really liked this, was the old man Karl Marx by chance, don't know if i should be glad or not that various things old Marx said i have said ...

Wasn't sure about this, the imagery wasn't anything original, if you wanna hear some really great food imagery listen to "the heart of saturday night" by Tom Waits. Also i ...

I thought this had potential, although some of the rhyming felt a little forced, also I found it a bit indecipherable at times again possibly due to forced rhyming. As ...