Merricat

Alright here is the first part to chapter two. It turned out longer than I thought it would. Now, I just thought I'd let you all know that I really, ...

Earlier critiques caught most of the grammar stuff, so I won't rehash that. I am curious about two things: 1) How old are the brothers? They sound like fairly young ...

Hiya! No major critiques yet, just some minor nitpicks. (I'm mostly reading this so I'll be ready for the latest chapter you posted.) The fountain’s water rippled. The man leaning ...

Yay, more writing! Keep an eye out for anachronisms: "circus freaks" and "milk chocolate" are both fairly modern concepts, so it's unlikely a medieval fantasy world character would use those ...

Nice start! I'd love more information about the world and the characters to anchor myself, though -- you throw a lot of names and a lot of plot at me ...

Hiya! Music_lover took care of most of the grammatical corrections I was going to suggest, so I won't rehash them. I will comment that sometimes your sentence structures were repetitive ...

Hiya! There's an awful lot to read here and I only got through the first chapter, so my comments ONLY apply to the first chapter. That means that I may ...