McMourning

Hello. I enjoyed reading this chapter. It moved quickly and you seem to have a good handle on the characters. I just have a few minor changes... Thrashing on the ...

Hello. To be honest, I was expecting a longer poem. I know that feeling and I know you could write more about it. You feel nothing. You're not getting the ...

Hello, I agree with both of them. It's a very nice poem that doesn't need critiquing. After reading it, I went back and read the spoiler. I sort of see ...

A sad testing subject

--When you rewrite real life in your head to make it sound better... I do that. I'll think something like, "Why'd she say that?" And begin to think about what ...

I like that it is a cross between poetry and a script. I love that each memory is like a scene in a play. I would just like to have ...

pejb--not quite PB&J, but something like that.

I saw that ending coming, but it made me smile. Isn't that always how life works? Your writing seems very natural. Two small spelling changes... I delivered them quickly and ...

Hello, Chulel. When I write my diary entries, I just write what comes to mind, just a stream of my consciousness. I understand that this is your diary entry, too, ...

Hello. I love that opening sentence. We probably all know someone who drives like that. And it sets the tone for the rest of the scene. Like Tommy, I haven't ...

Hmm...I like it. I don't know if the contest has a word limit, but I think you should expand it more. I would enjoy reading about how he got that ...

Hello. I think that you have a nice idea for a story, but it needs work. I know I sound crazy , but it’s true . I feel as if ...

Hello. Laura is right that your poem is great and speaks for itself. However, that does not mean you don't need to proofread. You should always capitalize "I". You didn't ...

Hello. Yes, it is short, but it's a start, and a pretty good one at that. In the colony police station, Jacob Rutherford, police officers working on several murder cases, ...

Hello. Your piece was just the way I like it--short and to the point. As the others have said, it has a surprise ending, which we all liked. I also ...