Matthews

I thought it was OK. I agree that the theme at the end should be weaved into the poem instead of plonking it randomly at the end.

Flower~Child said it all. Way too repetitious, loses the reader's attention and interest.

It's going along great! I'm glad how you explained a bit more of her situations in life. I agree that it was confusing when you abruptly left off talking about ...

I like it. It's a fast moving story which is nice, the "Gray" city part was kinda random, as someone else mentioned... Also, why are her and her mom on ...

I like it! I'm totally into the fantasy type stories. I agree that "the white dragon, the black dragon" got REALLY annoying and confusing. Besides that...it's a book I'd read!

A painful blossom it steals your heart. Binds you in illusion. Its fragrance sweet, as though a rose, Betrayal of the promise given. Alluring, your soul is taken, But passions ...