Mandorelute

Edited version: The sky is an eyelid, weeping of Furies and Sorrows; but eyes are more honest than this: lies cannot sincerely smile, lies cannot speak symphonies of wordless thought ...

---- JuDe ---- [s]```~*~```[/s] Jude nodded curtly. "As long as we are understood. It is truly closed." He stood up, and made a small bow to Christian. "I am saddened ...

{OOC: Welcome Buggy, I'm pretty sure you can write here confidently, I know Babanuuk would be picky only because she wants competent writers.} ---- JuDe ---- [s]```~*~```[/s] Jude leaned back ...

---- JuDe ---- [s]```~*~```[/s] Jude nodded, pulling his glass back towards himself across the table. It left a wet streak, which he began drawing spiraling designs in with a finger. ...

Hi there. I'm in a fair amount of agreement with Breezy here. ] I love the youthful, shy honesty in the approach of it. In the second stanza, this part ...

---- JuDe ---- [s]```~*~```[/s] After quaffing an undignified amount of their drink, Jude spoke. "Ah. This stuff is a fool's gold, a man could spend his whole life trying to ...

Well done, love. Although, I wish you would title the thing so people would look at it. Your poem capture images as a fairy would running through tall grass. Your ...

Hullo there, I agree pretty consistently with Blink's critique. Even though the writing style is simple, a lot of the piece is fairly vague. I think it captures a lot ...

---- JuDe ---- [s]```~*~```[/s] Jude nodded and walked towards the bar. The woman behind the counter glanced over, she was busily cleaning glasses, but she paused to ask Jude his ...

Sista Nuuk: Thank you. I'd be happy to discuss poetry, as long as it isn't just my poems we talk about. Oh, heart - waning heart, sinking with the need ...

---- JuDe ---- [s]```~*~```[/s] Jude turned abruptly from the dance floor to quit dancing, a little dizzy, with the blood rushing to his head. He and another man collided, rather ...

Eraqio, I found myself startled and rocked by this piece immensely. Here I sit, watching myself drift out, slipping away, upon the same boat drifting in the same moody sea ...

((is there anyone in the club that Christian can bump into right now?)) {OOC: Try Jude.}

NOTE: Two different editions of the poem are found below the original post, with the help of you critiques. Thank you. Looking for indepth writing critique and severe thought and ...

OOC: My posts have been pathetically short, but they'll catch up. I'm just feeling Jude out. ---- JuDe ---- [s]```~*~```[/s] Sitting in one of the front tables near the stage ...