MamaLama95

Your punctuation was good, no lapses in grammar that I could see, and you picked a wonderful character to base your poem on. Van Gogh was definitely interesting enough to ...

You had a wonderful piece up until the middle, where it lagged in conviction and emotion, but afterwards got better. This theme gives you an opportunity to really convey despair, ...

I liked the idea behind this poem, but I think you could have developed it more. It might have been interesting to see Johnny in a happier place and then ...

This was quite good, but the varying rhyme scheme really bugged me because it made the poem feel a little stop-startish. Aside from that little note, you kept to your ...

On the contrary, this was quite good. Not perfect - you should have been careful of being cliche with some of your phrases and the flow was a little off ...

Alright, READ THIS BEFORE. I know this is not my work, but I wanted to post it up here to see how many people recognize it. I won't tell you ...

Grammar, punctuation, use of description, everything checks out quite well - I do think that you jumped a little from one theme to the other. You mentioned the Father thing, ...

I think the main problem I had with this poem was the fact that you had so many good descriptions that you didn't emphasize enough. Also, you had some one-liners ...

I'm unaware as to the meaning of 'el mar', but this was short, snappy, and quite funny. You brightened my day my friend, good job.

You know, despite the really varying sentence length and the stop-start rhyme scheme, this really worked. It had a beautiful sadness to it, mixed with despair and abandonment. It honestly ...

Shoaib, that line means that it's easier still being in love with this person even though they don't love me back and have forgotten about me (so it's painful), rather ...

I quite liked this piece - it was thematic and emotional, whilst the whole time keeping a good rhythm. No nitpicks to be honest, just in general it read like ...

The problem is, the moment you said it had a twist, I knew what was going to happen. This was a little too childish for me. I know you were ...

You know, I completely agree with the Snape thing. That part was so perfectly done, I couldn't believe it when I read that part in the book. It was my ...

Needless to say, this is very personal to me. Things have taken a turn for the worse, but I still have my writing. Let me know what you think. There ...