MamaLama95

This is one of those poems I'll read in the middle of the night, with my eyes half-closed, frown plastered on my forehead and exasperation clouding my vision - but ...

You made some serious grammatical errors, for example; She shoulder shimmy This should be phrased differently, or you should find a way to describe the movement in a different manner, ...

Go and find that brightness, that broken linen and chandelier The blood begins to fall. How did we end up here? More questions than answers The crystal glasses grey with ...

Brilliant. Think it's a great poem with a wonderful message - well done.

The topic was; Your story is about a maid in a dorm room fixing a hole punch.

The comma and full stop thing, I thank you for, I've never actually had it clarified to me, so I'm grateful :D The family thing I should have made more ...

“Pezzo di MERDA.” “No need to get so angry.” She shot her a look of haughty derision, “No need? Then you fix the fucking hole punch.” Joanne raised a fine ...

I just read this two times over because I thought it was that powerful. Stunning imagery, a beautiful story and theme, and wonderful use of different poetic techniques, enjambment, etc. ...

It's an original idea, but I don't think you've utilized it's potential to the maximum. You could have put a nice twist on it, or some clever images - instead ...

I think it's quite a lovely poem - it's deep and meaningful, but sweet at the same time. Good job, there isn't much I'd be critical about, and that's just ...

Technically, this is quite a good poem - you have a good grasp on vocab, grammar and punctuation. One remark; I think you could do with a little more flow. ...

Alright - I'll be extremely and painfully honest here. That was not a good poem. Your wording was off, there was good flow up until the end of the first ...

I think this is quite good - I'd like it to be a little longer perhaps, but the simplicity of it works as well. Inspiring idea, and the ending line ...

Look, this poem has a lot of potential - good idea, with a strong theme and powerful wording. However, the structure is atrocious, unfortunately I'll have to agree with some ...

I like the idea of this, and I think it's fantastic you let out your fears and nerves int a poem - reminds me of myself ;) Although I really ...