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Re: Blissful Escape
Good poem, if a little long and drawn-out. It got too emo-ish towards the end for me, but it had some powerful images and very interesting themes throughout. It felt ...
Jul 10, 2011 -
Re: Heartless
This poem felt a little forced, and too unemotional for me. It was interesting, and I can relate to it, but it's lacking very much in some sort of deep ...
Jul 10, 2011 -
Re: Half-Gone Glass
Your poem wasn't the typical slash-kill-die emo crap I read here sometimes, and you score points for that. However, I do think that it was a little long, and you ...
Jul 10, 2011 -
Re: I'm saving my sister ..!
I think this has probably been my favourite work today. It's so bouncy and lyrical - honestly, it's fantastic. There are a few nitpicks, such as grammar, and a faltering ...
Jul 10, 2011 -
Re: Conquered
Lots of emotion, and it's clear that there's a history behind these words - I applaud you. I did have some issues with the first two or three stanzas, because ...
Jul 10, 2011 -
Re: All is Calm
I have to agree with my predecessor here - your punctuation use was very scattered and not altogether great. I loved all the deep and intense imagery you conveyed, and ...
Jul 6, 2011 -
Re: The Face that I Remember
I really do love this poem - it possesses this powerful and utterly compelling emotion which you put across in a really beautiful and developed way. It's so clear that ...
Jul 6, 2011 -
Re: Roof.
This is a relatively shorter work, but it's deeply personal. I hope you enjoy it. ________________________________________________________________ Standing on my roof, all alone. All I need is someone
Jul 6, 2011 -
Re: Ice
You overuse the word 'frozen' in some of the stanzas, but if you found good enough substitutes, then this poem would be fantastic. You've got quite a good grasp of ...
Jul 6, 2011 -
Re: Crash.
Thank you to everyone who reviewed - I can definitely see all my mistakes and it's nice to know that they can be fixed relatively quickly. Especially thanks to Toto, ...
Jul 2, 2011 -
Re: Crash.
Crash. It’s all it takes. Like gravity, like madness, Just a little push: And everything leaves. You’re paralyzed. You can’t breathe, speak or live, It’s all gone. Taken in a ...
Jul 1, 2011 -
Re: Secrets
I like what you're trying to portray; however, the last lines of your stanzas are so forced, it's making me physically gag. Change those, definitely, because you're desperately trying to ...
Jul 1, 2011 -
Re: Trivialities
Quite brilliant in fact. Good meter, you've got a grasp on punctuation and grammar, as well as vocabulary. Beautiful theme.
Jul 1, 2011 -
Re: Trivialities
Quite brilliant in fact. Good meter, you've got a grasp on punctuation and grammar, as well as vocabulary. Beautiful theme.
Jul 1, 2011 -
Re: Hotel experiences.
I quite liked the poem - it was a nice idea, but it got really boring by the middle. No punctuation or correct use of grammar bothered me to no ...
Jul 1, 2011
