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Re: The Mariner's Revenge
THIS IS EPIC! Beautifully told, I love how you translated the song into a story perfectly, I cant wrong it well done! I hope to see more. :)
Oct 30, 2011 -
Re: The Guardians: Chapter 2- 3 part 1
CHAPTER 2: What Just Happened, should we of Stayed in Florence? “You said you know us?” My sister looked up at me forebodingly. I turn away to look at the ...
Oct 30, 2011 -
Re: in the habit of turning pages
I can honestly say I love this my favourite by far! Its imaginative and descriptive, you could almost feel the anxiety of the character.I cant really fault it, it would ...
Oct 30, 2011 -
Re: thursday rehearsal.
Its an interesting piece, I love how it seems to be fairly abstract, a sort of stream of conciousness, I especially enjoyed how you explain the concept of 'failed potential'. ...
Oct 30, 2011 -
Re: Sun
I think josephbohnenberger said it all, but I couldn't not say anything. Its a lovely piece, I think the personification of the earth and sun, as well as the imagery ...
Oct 26, 2011 -
Re: The setting sun
Aww I don't know much about music lyrics, but as a story beautiful told and clear throughout, not at all over complicated like other lyrics Iv heard. Good job. :)
Oct 26, 2011 -
Re: The Pilgrimage
This piece is really very nice, such great description, you could picture this bohemian type paradise very vividly. My favourite bit are the first two lines, they give just as ...
Oct 26, 2011 -
Re: Helios
Hey very nicely written, the poem flowed nicely. I especially like the last stanza, seemed almost hypnotic. Keep it up :)
Oct 26, 2011 -
Re: The Guardians: Chapter 1 The Begining
Preface: Doomed Gemini’s bearing a rose shall rise twice to defeat a Mortal foe. Chapter 1 The Beginning. ‘Look Makeeda it says it here on Google. A human is a ...
Oct 26, 2011 -
Re: Only by Faith
Hey, I honestly couldn't flaw this. Its beautifully written, the contrast between the idea of the fairy tale that shrouds marriage and the reality of married life is on point, ...
Oct 26, 2011 -
Re: The Journey
Thank you AmethystNight and captaindomdude, both your criticisms are extremely appreciated. I have always had issues with punctuations and I'll definitely work on it, you both are the first ever ...
Oct 24, 2011 -
Re: Welcome New Members! [2]
Hey :) I'm Makeeda,my real name is Elixir. Like many of you I breath,eat,dream and poop words :D, I love everything and anything to do with creative writing. I'm new ...
Oct 24, 2011 -
Re: The Journey
The Journey Short story by Elixir Ahmed Dreams. Dreams are a curious thing. You close your eyes and they flicker to life before you, a cacophony of odd sounds, and ...
Oct 24, 2011
