MagnusBane

You know you're a writer when your English teacher asks you for advice on something he's writing.

Introverted Sensing Thinking Perceiving Strength of the preferences % 56 50 25 17

Toast

Good idea, Nate. The error message is a great idea. Hopefully this will help everyone get more reviews on their stories, so we don't have any more review crises.

I've been a bit disappointed by some of the stories people are posting on YWS lately, but yours was great. The characterization was very strong, and I really like Asher. ...

Funhouse in your pants

Wow! What a beginning! I would definitely like to read more. Some prologues practically give away the entire story, but yours didn't, and I liked that. You definitely left me ...

Better

The shining white mare beneath him flew across the rolling plains with its ivory mane flowing in the rushing wind. Rowan drove is heels into the horse’s sides and whipped ...

I agree with Aqua. It's great to be creative with fan fiction, but you've taken the characters too far away from the way they were supposed to be. Could you ...

Welcome to YWS! :) This is going to sound really obvious, but the most important thing you can do to be a better writer is to write. Write short stories, ...

Two words for you: Slow down. This has the beginnings of a great story. It's engaging to read and really creative. But it goes way too fast. You don't really ...

How could kids be that evil? And how could their parents not have realized how bad they were? It's just terrible that children are capable of such a horrible thing. ...

What about character development games or activities? Like interviewing their characters or writing letters to them. Making profiles might help too.

From what I've read, italics or nothing seems to be the most popular way to put a character's thoughts. I've only rarely seen quotations used. But, like Sureal said, it ...