Mad

It's a pretty good poem. The punctuation is good (something some people tend to leave out when posting here). First verse is very nice, repetition of "The" at the start ...

The rhythm for the poem isn't great. The lines start out much longer and then get much shorter as the poem continues. While a few short lines here and there ...

Invisibility The cloak of humility You do as they tell you Always helping out Considered great by those you assist But you are not so wonderful inside. Inside you are ...

First of all, what Skell said was right, you need to do more showing and less telling. (I feel a bit hypocritical saying that, I always tell instead of show ...

Nice poem ANI. Does the line spacing mean something? I thought it was a very pretty poem, makes me want to go out and see my friends right now. My ...

It's all broken, you need to add punctuation and run some lines onto each other. I don’t fear you I love you These can be nice and short, add some ...

It has an interesting start, which is quite unusual. A family of doctors who have little chemical naming competitions. Not something I've ever seen before. It's very original. The writing ...

The story had me hooked. Your first paragraph sets the scene well and the way your story is narrated adds a lot. I like the sardonic tone that he takes ...

It's interesting and has my attention. Not much more I can say without reading the previous part and the end, so once I've done that I'll add more. The rider ...

Nice Goldie. You're very good at using this two line couplet form. The use of rhyme doesn't distort what you are trying to get over at all, it makes all ...

:lol: It was all very good up until that second last stanza. That one made me laugh. The wind screams through the trees Like a child emptying their lungs That ...

Ahh sorry that was me misreading it.

our livers rot, Could you make livers, liver's? I thought it was something quite different when I first read it. Short and to the point. In this case the conciseness ...

It was nicely written, the description was very good. There were just a few small areas which stopped the story flowing well. She snivelled fresh tears shedding from her eyes. ...

Thank you all very much for your criticism. All I can really say is that I thought the story up as more of a description than a real story, but ...