Mad

Overall it's a decent poem, but the rhythm is a bit uneven. You start with some much shorter lines and then you build into longer ones. War is a sorrowful ...

It's nice enough in its sentimentality but it doesnt really offer anything new because it sort of builds upon the "if you cry, I cry" version of love, without offering ...

The song composed by the watermelon pips that rained upon the sopping dirt was a lie. Now this first part come over a bit randomly to me. If there was ...

So boy, you're going to that party on Friday night? Oh yes dad, it's gonna be a rockin' sight! Good first two lines, I can quite clearly determine between the ...

Thanks all, I've edited the original with your suggestions. Does the rhythm flow better now? I fixed up that last line and the "a high" to "on high". On the ...

Hey all, sorry to repost this one so quickly, I'm thinking of entering it into a poetry competition and would appreciate any comments that you can offer. It's been redone ...

It's an unusual piece, I don't normally see poems with lines so long. Don't give any lip, don't be a smart aleck. In this opening line I don't think smart ...

My first attempt at writing a villanelle, please tell me what you think. Through the thick grass and falling rain, I slip trying to make a quick escape. On my ...

Don't waste away, life's not going out of style I think you need to find a different way of phrasing this line, "style" sticks out and doesn't feel like it ...

Here is a revision of the poem I posted not too long ago. I hope I've taken in any and all of the suggestions that you offered. Comments always appreciated, ...

The choice of words, as people have already said, is very good. Nicely chosen descriptive words which create a vivid image. Now, commas, someone else has already commented on this ...

It's an intriguing story, but some of the writing just needs to be touched up a bit. At times sentences are too short or some elaboration is needed on certain ...

It's a nice piece and creates some very strong visual images. The first stanza does that very well, one problem I spotted in it was I sink, nor swim, in ...

Thank you all for your criticisms. I'm don't really care for "On the road by the swampy toads." To me, it seems like you just added the swampy toad part ...

Ok well, there are two types of free verse I think well. Either the deceptively simple or the intensely complex. You've definitely gone with the second option. Now please, please ...