Mad

Hey cheripop, I hope you have a great time at YWS and I hope you decide to post something soon, I'll keep an eye out. cheese and black cherry flavored ...

Hey Megan, welcome to YWS! I'd love to read some of your stuff and will keep an eye out for it in case you do decide to post something. What ...

I think that it is an extremely good first piece, I'm not sure about the line length though. You keep the rhythm fairly regular because all the lines are around ...

I really like the second and third verses, I can't suggest anything for either of them. The first verse confuses me a bit though. You whine three tonight, beneath the ...

The last and the second stanza both flow well, but the rhythm is lost a bit in that second stanza. My arms are always open if you ever need a ...

Well, I think that the lines are a bit long. Really long free verse lines can sound a lot like prose and at times it seemed more prose than poetry. ...

I think that the alliteration you use in the first stanza is really effective. It's a good way of bringing the reader in and it grabs their attention. The second ...

Empty words, Empty meanings floating around in an empty world Straight off you've got to many emptys in there, the first line is fine but I'd strongly suggest cutting out ...

It's like looking for you through our secret window, But you're not there. It's nice and abrupt but the lines don't run onto each other. The first two lines "it's ...

It's a really good poem, it flows well and I like the descriptions that you use. Remember when you whispered forever, and I heard your voice as a drowning man ...

I think that you are too dependent on the rhyme scheme at times. You have some odd line breaks which only serve to keep the rhyme and not preserve the ...

Well punctuation does depend a lot on what sort of message you were going for, but what I'd suggest for this is adding a full stop at the end of ...

I think that while you do have a very nice, steady rhythm the length of your lines causes the meaning to be lost since the sentence that you make can't ...

I sent you a message - but its stuck in my outbox and not getting sent. So I'll post it instead. I think that if you make the jokes a ...

Yes the nights on YWS are quite lonely, lol. It's nice to have someone else on around this time. Well I'll stop spamming your thread now, just wanted to say ...