-
Re: Sinews
Wow, very intense and graphic---no qualifiers here. Isn't it ironic that someone is playing that stupid S&M song by Rhianna in the other room while I am reading this? Anyway--some ...
Apr 18, 2011 -
Re: Thoughts of a Compulsive Liar
I liked this, but it's kind of useless and all----I knew exactly where it was going after a paragraph. Maybe a poem would be better; at least it was short. ...
Apr 18, 2011 -
Re: Water Under The Bridge Chapter One: Shawn
Very intriguing, stream-of-consciousness is very effective. As they say on this site, "here are some "nit-picks"?" "This is a question most people ask themselves at least once in their lives ...
Apr 16, 2011 -
Re: No. 11
Deleted.
Apr 16, 2011 -
Re: Jezebel
Wow, very interesting; I didn't understand one word; but maybe that's what you're going for; probably what you're going for. Anyway, can't really review because I have no idea what ...
Apr 10, 2011 -
Re: My Eternity
I like the idea, but there are two problems: Awkward and tooooo short---definitely expand and clean up, that will leave a much deeper impact on the reader. Since the poem ...
Apr 10, 2011 -
Re: M-I-M
I absolutely LOVE villanelles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 I LOVE VILLANELLES, they are sooooooooooooooooooooooo clever!!!!!!!!! And I really liked this even though I can't really grasp it
Apr 9, 2011 -
Re: My Aborted Child
MY GOODNESS, very powerful. The person in front of me obviously can't gage emotion. Very Hemingway-esque, which is something I'm seeing alot of on this sight.... emotionally powerful, I like ...
Apr 9, 2011 -
Re: me, the robot
I guess we all feel that way sometimes; like we're on a hamster wheel. I like the simple short sentences they are very powerful. Though I don't really see structure, ...
Apr 9, 2011 -
Re: See life is beautiful?
Really nice, kind of similar to a poem I wrote, so I get your main point. I have a problem with : Open your eyes. Can you smell the mint ...
Apr 8, 2011 -
Re: No. 14
Deleted.
Apr 6, 2011 -
Re: A poem on the general stupidness of the human race.
This sounds like something I would write, hahahahahahahah... Just kidding. Ebony skin In ivory halls. White dusty faces. Hope aganist all odds. Sweet, sweet surrender, Why'd you just change the ...
Mar 31, 2011 -
Re: The Haikus of The Periodic Table of Elements
If I'm not mistaken, Helium is in a balloon, and hydrogen is in stars. But I got a C in chemistry, so I'm probably mistaken...but I swear...
Mar 29, 2011 -
Re: The Hand of Grief
I thought that the personification of all the different emotions had a great effect. Maybe capitalize them as well, Joy, Grief, ext. 1) Go deeper, everyone is always talking about ...
Mar 27, 2011 -
Re: No. 13
Deleted.
Mar 26, 2011