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Re: The Audition
Hey, thanks to both of you, I know what you mean. This actually started life as a piece of prose! I wasn't sure if it worked that way, so I ...
Jan 22, 2006 -
Re: The Audition
Umm, ok, this was based on what I thought was a pretty good concept, but I'm not sure if I managed to do it justice. I always seem to come ...
Jan 21, 2006 -
Re: A Shortcut To The Sea
OK, now it's in the right place I hope! A Shortcut To The Sea The velvet-soft Quiet Of Night. My skin thrills At the touch of Chill wind. Steep steps ...
Nov 7, 2005 -
Re: Hell
I'm not going to be very helpful, cos I couldn't see much wrong with that. It's a really good beginning idea for a novel. It draws you in, and I ...
Nov 6, 2005 -
Re: Wrong Time, Wrong Place, Wrong Person...
OK, I just sat down and wrote this, cos I was feeling a bit frustarted. I think it helped me feel better, but I'm not sure if it works. It's ...
Oct 31, 2005 -
Re: Killer Albums
My favourite albums are: Bright Eyes - I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning/Fevers And Mirrors - can't decide which I prefer! Brilliant lyricist The Shins - Chutes Too Narrow - Amazing ...
Oct 21, 2005 -
Re: The Boy Who Cried Love
Zelithon: Yes, he beat her but he loved her. That is the basis of the idea - he 'cried' love, making it seem false and meaningless with his actions, but, ...
Oct 21, 2005 -
Re: The Boy Who Cried Love
Hey, thanks for all your comments guys! I didn't expect such a good response! To Boni Bee, The line 'Now all he can do is stand and drown' actually carries ...
Oct 20, 2005 -
Re: two is an odd number
That's just so effortless. It feels really good to read.
Oct 20, 2005 -
Re: Featherweight
OK, I'm not sure if this is in the right place, but I don't know where else to post it! If you have any suggestions, tell me! Featherweight I hold ...
Oct 16, 2005 -
Re: A Day in the Life
I thought the beginning was really good, really effective. It didn't flow as well towards the end, but it certainly makes you think! It's nice to be made to see ...
Oct 16, 2005 -
Re: The Boy Who Cried Love
The Boy Who Cried Love On a bench, so close together, They hardly notice the stormy weather. She turns and sees his open stare. Dare she believe she sees it ...
Oct 15, 2005 -
Re: Sleep
This I like a lot! It seems really natural. I think you shouldn't change it too much. The only thing I thought was that it was quite long, but that's ...
Oct 15, 2005 -
Re: sixteen
This is a great poem! It really captures something, an experience. I think the innocence is really key to the way it works. I love the line 'I like how ...
Oct 15, 2005 -
Re: You Were Not Meant To Die
Today was not meant to take you away. Wow. That is a really powerful first line. Sad poem.
Oct 15, 2005
